


One More Day to Stay

by deathwailart



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Confessions, F/F, Femslash February, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 23:51:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3430178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathwailart/pseuds/deathwailart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a long way to the Anderfels, especially when Isabela would prefer to sail as far as she can now that Hawke is back with her, but after the reunion, it's not all smooth sailing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One More Day to Stay

Gulls circle overheard, their cries constant as the golden prow of a ship - her figurehead a golden mermaid, breasts bare and a smile on her face – cuts through the waves, the sky darkening with the promise of a storm. It should be a happy event, the first true maiden voyage on the newly bedecked property of one captain Isabela only she scowls ferociously, barking orders at men and women who almost trip over them in their haste to carry them out, all but one who sits out of the way, fiddling with a length of rope. Isabela's delight at seeing Shannon alive and well evaporated all too quickly in the end, her mouth hardening in the morning after a night together, both of them crying when it was over, when they could at last hold each other and talk. Shannon talking of the Grey Wardens – fearful for her little brother still out there amidst the chaos but safe now, safer than he'd been since they'd all gone with Varric and unleashed Corypheus upon the world – and the Fade, seeing Varric, the devastation unleashed by Anders. Isabela had listened, had held her as she wept again and shared her own tales, how she at least managed to keep in touch with Aveline and the struggles in Kirkwall, the stories of Fenris carving a path through Tevinter slavers. He hadn't long left after catching ship with Isabela and at least Fenris might have been more willing to give her a second chance.  
  
She drops the rope to the deck and awkwardly gets to her feet, her wounds still smarting even now. She should have learned at least one healing spell before all of this.  
  
Isabela has every right in the world to be angry, not with Shannon going off on her own because Shannon won't always want to sail, she understands that and they have plans, a little place in Antiva by the Rialto, somewhere to retire and close the doors, Shannon awaiting her brave and dashing captain. It's the whole doing the hero thing. Because Shannon had said she wouldn't, that she was done with that, that it was her and Isabela and a life of piracy and ill-gotten gains and a flurry of letters between them and their friends but she unleashed that. Isabela had returned with the tomb when it could have cost her so much more than just her life, how could Shannon do any less?  
  
Isabela hadn't asked to be dragged into a world of ancient Tevinter magister Darkspawn. It had felt like the right thing to do at the time but when had luck ever favoured Shannon? Not that Isabela listens when Shannon says anything and the crew avoid her like she's got the plague but it's been more than a week now since the letter came via Varric when the rogue Inquisitor told her to stay and allow her wounds to be tended before she departed for good and it had been fun. As much fun as anything could be. Seeing Varric, meeting the inquisition, apologising over and over for the mess until Isabela's letter had arrived with instruction to meet her at a port and that she'd send the Crows to find her if she tried going it alone.  
  
The steps up to the helm aren't as bad as they were because she's healing, slowly but surely, the last wounds from the Fade soon to be little more than another unhappy memory but there's still a grief in her chest, the words of that creature that she'd shared and she can't do this alone, even if Isabela doesn't want to listen. The other woman glances down when Shannon sits next to her, staring at the door to the captain's cabin that she still sleeps in because Isabela knows she's hurting but she doesn't touch her, an invisible boundary of the bed, Shannon staring at Isabela's back until she drifts off herself only to be calmed through her nightmares with gentle hands and words she doesn't understand. There are snatches of Isabela's face she remembers, that fear in her eyes and the last time she looked that way was when Shannon had fought the Arishok for her and had been busy trying to hold her innards where they belonged with one hand, the other clenched around her staff to keep her standing.  
  
"Bela," she tries, voice soft and has she ever wanted anything in her life as badly as she wants Isabela's forgiveness? "Are we ever going to talk about this?"  
  
"What's there to talk about? You said you weren't going to do the hero thing then you say you're going off on your own - and that's not the part that's sticking with me - and you're fine with getting yourself killed!"  
  
"I was the one that-"  
  
"Oh for the love of- You!" Isabela beckons to a slender elven woman, Dalish if the faded Vallaslin is any indication but one of her ears is missing most of the point and ends in thick old scar tissue. "Take the helm, I need to have words with this one."  
  
It's all the warning Shannon gets before she's hauled to her feet, almost having forgotten the strength in Isabela's arms, manhandled into the cabin where the many scarves block out the light and she sinks gratefully to the bed because whatever happens to be wrong with her, it's not going away. And she knows, she's not stupid, but she doesn't want to remember how she was after she lost her mother and the mess with the Arishok and when Isabela didn't talk to her for all that time and she felt so alone, rattling around in an estate with no one to fill it.  
  
"You're going to listen, you hear me? You're going to let me say my piece and then you can talk but this time you are going nowhere and if I don't think you've listened I'm going to make you repeat this until you don't forget." Shannon nods, not trusting her voice and Isabela didn't say if she was allowed to say yes to that so it's better to just go along with her. "I'm angry at you. I'm angry at an awful lot of people right now but you're here and you did something very stupid and I get to be angry about that and maybe it isn't fair but that's how it is. You left and we always said that it was fine, that we didn't have to be attached at the hip but you almost died fighting the Arishok for me! You fought that bloody Darkspawn thing that's out there now, you fought Orsino and the Knight-Commander and I thought we both agreed on the no more running around like a hero." It's jarring, watching Isabela pace back and forth, her hands balled into fists because Isabela gets angry but it's never been quite like this before, there's usually been some sort of humour and often it's been the situation. The Arishok was the only time she saw her that angry at first but it was fear then because they hadn't even been able to really call it love as much as Shannon wanted to. "You said you were willing to sacrifice yourself, this isn't your fault Hawke! It's not!" She turns again but she's not furious, she's scared, she's hurt and she's terrified, her dark eyes full of tears and Shannon's heart swells and sinks and she can't look at her.  
  
"If I hadn't gone to that place, if I'd just-" Shannon tries and Isabela sighs sharply.  
  
"I know you always think you have to try to save the day but you _don't_. Not..." Isabela walks to the door, leaning her forehead against it as her shoulders drop. "Not alone. You might have to drag me but if it's you...well maybe being dragged isn't so awful."  
  
The sun is blinding when Isabela opens the door and closes it softly behind her, Shannon kicking off her boots and crawling under the covers, biting her fist to keep her cries to herself.  


* * *

  
  
She tosses and turns in the night, the ship moving on restless waves as her stomach churns, the voice of the Nightmare in her ear, taunting her and laughing. Dead family, dead friends, an endless road of corpses stretching from Kirkwall to Adamant, their sightless eyes open, faces frozen in accusation. Isabela standing in the Nightmare's clutches in the Fade.  
  
" _This is your fault_ ," she chokes, her mouth full of blood.  
  
Shannon jerks awake, fresh tears and her mouth opened in a silent scream. But Isabela is there, turning her over so she can pull her close and murmur to her in Rivaini, stroking her hair and hushing her, all warm and alive, soft skin, full curves, hard muscle, smelling of perfume and the spray of the sea.  
  
"I'm here, I'm here darling," she croons and Shannon sobs out apologies against her neck, shuddering with the effort of it. "You're not alone, I'm not going anywhere."  
  
There's a long way to go before things are right between them again but they've got a long voyage ahead of them and it doesn't magically fix it but she at last sleeps without any dreams or nightmares feeling Isabela's heart beating beneath her cheek.


End file.
